The Quick, Brown Fox

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Quick, what does this look like to you? Take a good long look. Really drink in those angles- those hard, 1980s edges. It’s an American design. Maybe some sort of early Chevy coupe, like a proto-Cavalier? Maybe a Chrysler product? Something from one of those defunct brands that no one thinks about anymore, like Plymouth, American Motors, or Oldsmobile? Nope. Affixed to the back end of this compact coupe is perhaps the most legendary name to ever be glued to a car. This is a 1980 Ford Mustang Hatchback with the Ghia package. Continue reading

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A Pal To Its Friends, An Ogre To Its Enemies

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We’ve all been there. You’re trying to do something productive on your day off, so you wake up early, you run your errands, you tidy up a bit. And then you sit down to write something coherent about cars, and you end up falling down a YouTube hole of film essays and postmodern cooking videos. Which is how you find yourself writing a lead sentence as lazy as “we’ve all been there.” This is a 1974 AMC Gremlin.  Continue reading

Civic Duty

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Let’s talk about terrible people. Not people who, like, burgle homes or punch grandmothers or are into vaping. Those things are evil. I’m talking about people who are just the worst. You know the sort. People who make jokes about how they’re alone on Valentine’s Day. People who are too into Rick and Morty. Austin Rogers. They aren’t people you have any rational reason for hating, but you do anyway. For me, it’s people who say the only thing they look for in a car the ability to get from the mythical “Point A” to “Point B.” Like, if you’re in a position where you can purchase a car, and you have the means to choose from a selection of different cars, why on earth would you choose something as bland and unchallenging as an Imagine Dragons song? How empty must your beige little life be? But in this divisive time, I think I’ve found a car that those people and myself can come together on. Behold, everyone, the 1982 Honda Civic Wagon.  Continue reading

Family Dynamics

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I didn’t grow up with any siblings, but what I can gather from years of research is that it is a deeply strange experience. I missed out on being punched in the arm every time a Beetle drove by. Never before has a family member pinned me to the floor and stuck a spit-covered finger in my ear. No, my childhood was occupied primarily with Hot Wheels and Legos, and this game my mom would make me play where I stomped on all the bugs walking by our front stoop. That was a little weird, in hindsight. This is a 1969 Dodge Dart Custom.  Continue reading

The Nisha Call

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I generally try not to do this. Last time we looked at a imported, Japanese coupe from the early nineties. This time we’re looking at an imported, Japanese coupe from the early nineties. Funny how that shook out. Importing cars isn’t really that popular of a thing to do (it’s a super complicated process). Back in Pennsylvania, when I went out hunting for Forgotten Metal, the endless farmland and suburbs could be relied upon to throw up some rusty American relic, or maybe a British sports car. Enough to keep things fresh and different week to week. But New York City? You never quite know what you’re going to get. Lately its been imported, Japanese coupes from the early nineties. And last week’s GT-R I get: people really like GT-Rs. It’s obvious why someone would want to import one. This, though, is a little harder to pin down. So cue the music, it’s a Forgotten Metal Mystery. This is a 1991 Toyota Soarer.  Continue reading

Nuclear Fears

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Remember when they remade Godzilla a couple of years ago? The one that had Walter White and the Scarlet Witch in it? Remember how that movie was, like, just okay? I went into that movie with very high expectations. I wasn’t even a particularly big fan of the original movies (I mean, as much as a nineteen-year-old boy can not be into giant monsters fighting each other in major metropolitan areas). But for some reason, the buildup to that movie grabbed me. It might’ve been that first trailer, which was excellent. But the movie itself fell a little flat. Not enough Brian Cranston, in my opinion. And are we really supposed to believe that a monster escaped from a top-secret government facility two miles away from Las Vegas and no one noticed? Anyway. This doesn’t do that. This is totally satisfying payoff to overwhelming hype. This is the real Godzilla. This is a 1990 R32 Nissan Skyline GT-R.  Continue reading

Gladiator No More

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If you were to go up to any random stranger and say the word “Jeep,” they would almost certainly shift away from you uncomfortably. But they’d do so while thinking about something like this or this, most likely. What I’m trying to say is that the Jeep brand owes a lot to the Wrangler, in much the same way that wineries owe a lot to grapes. Pickup trucks on the other hand? Not so much. As a result, pickup trucks with a Jeep badge are kind of a rare breed. And if its name is any indication, this is the clearest expression of that breed: the 1972 Jeep Pickup.  Continue reading

If You’re Into That Kind Of Thing

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I’m going to reveal something about myself here that you may judge me for. I like to grind my own beans for my coffee in the morning. I know it’s pretentious, I know most people can’t taste the difference. It’s not for everyone, but I like it. It’s something I enjoy doing. There’s a certain comfort I take from the methodical nature of making coffee the old fashioned way. It adds another dimension to the rhythm of my morning routine: the fact that before I walk out the door, I’ve made something with my hands. The tactility of it all. And the coffee’s pretty good too. The reason I bring this up is not to try and convert you to the Church Of Coffee Bean Grinding (praise be), but rather to talk about this. The 1955 Plymouth Belvedere.  Continue reading

I Am The Egg-Van

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I don’t think I can properly convey how desirable this beige, people-carrying hunk of pill-shaped sex is. Toyota, right now, is a company so bureaucratic Bong Joon Ho is about one new subcompact crossover away from making a movie about it. Yeah, they’ve got the 86, but that’s half a Subaru and getting old. The new Supra, which is being co-developed alongside BMW, sounds promising, but every time they try to convince us the new Camry is worth anything near what they paid for the rights to that Freddy Mercury song I die a little inside. But let’s take a minute to travel back to a magical era full of hope and funny designs on paper cups. This is a 1997 Toyota Previa with All Trac. Continue reading

Pizza And Beer

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You know that one friend who, after imbibing enough of one substance or another, becomes a completely different person? It’s a more common phenomenon than you might think. My personal version of it is called “Adventure Mike” and I won’t mince words: Adventure Mike is a hoot and a half. He’s a really great time. The life of the party. He’s also, incidentally, going to put me in prison one day. Adventure Mike once ended the night with thirteen more dollars than he started with and a new leather jacket. Normal Mike (who I like to call Mike Classic) has no idea where the money or the jacket came from. You see where this is going: that was a metaphor, and this is a 1979 Fiat 124 Spider 2000. Continue reading